ScrapYard Armory

If you are like me, you just love playing in slow Battletech games that are doomed to never finish. I’m talking huge games. Massive games just because we can.

Who needs resolution? We can just conjecture about who won the game. And let me tell you, it should be plainly obvious even if only two ‘Mechs out of twenty-four bit the dust after the 8th hour of play.

Here are some ways to make sure your own games never come to a completion.

Make it One Big Game, Regardless of the Number of People Playing

Splitting a scenario into manageable sub missions is absurd. The goal is to have so many people fielding so many units that each firing phase takes at least an hour. We all love waiting in line to fire at the lead assault ‘Mech in the opponents army. It builds character and gives you time to strike up conversations with your team mates on just how the next turn is going to go. After all its going to be at least an hour from now, so you have the time to chat and get distracted.

A huge mess of people playing in a game also makes for long and involved discussions about who should move first. Initiative should be carefully thought out to make sure your company-plus of ‘Mechs has the best opportunity to waste more time later by baiting your opponent to fire on your nifty light ‘Mech with the plus-four modifier.

Use Ambiguous Terrain

I’ve got some great ideas for terrain. Lets sprinkle flock around the map to make forests. You heard me, just sprinkle it wherever you want forests to be. Who cares if the players won’t be able to see where the woods begin or end. It’ll look great with my model railroad trees! The best part is when the player end up arguing whether or not one ‘Mech or the other really is inside cover.

And while we are at it, lets use realistic water and paint it varying shades of blue to confuse the players even more. The should have to get a game masters ruling each time a ‘Mech tries to forge across the hazard. That’s a piloting skill!

Make the Battlefield As Big As You Can

If you happen to have a 6 foot by 4 foot gaming mat then that’s what you are going to use! Players love spending forty minutes playing out a first and second turns that involve nothing but moving units towards each other. Effective shooting should only be a concern in the third turn at the earliest.

After all, who actually wants to shoot at the other ‘Mechs anyways? This game is more fun moving units than actually accomplishing anything in combat.

And while we are at it, throw in objectives but make sure they are so far away that the become inconsequential. Objectives are nice to look at. But once they become obtainable it takes the fun out of the inevitable middle-of-the-field assault ‘Mech pile on.

Sarcasm Off!

Ok ok, I’m done, but I just had to get that off my chest. And I’m sure that you have probably been in a similar situation if you have played the game long enough.

Classic Battletech is a great game. I love it. But it seems that there are a lot of commandos out there who insist on handicapping their games with some rather absurd tendencies.

There is a better way. I hope to apply what I’ve learned from the many many commando sponsored events I’ve played in at my own event in June.